Prox's musings'n'stuffs

Kitty could really use a little help....

  • Nov13/07 12:38:22
As few may know, I was recently forcibly detained under the Mental Health Act, following a very messed up segment of just a few short days.

Some of you know the effects of long term use of speed - permanent sleeping problems, mental (not physical) dependance, and depression.

And ashamed as I am to admit it, for just under a year, i've been addicted to amphetamines.

WIth that said, I've slowly fallen into a depressed rut when alone, and last Sunday night really worsened things.

I'm not going to explain that night, but all I'll say is there were legal issues, and I've estranged myself from the local furry community because of it.

Furthermore, a lot of you know how important the fandom is to me; so estranging myself from the community....added to the melancholy of speed, left me desperately searching for the last of my weed in hopes of feeling something.

That next night...is something I'm not proud of, and smething I'm still shaken from. I'm not sure of the influences, whether it was the heavy dose of weed I took that night or not, but that night, I ran away from home, leaving a psuedo-suicide note - simply stating I needed to get far away, or I feared I'd end up killing myself.

It wan't until some 30+ hours later that I was found, some 50-60km away; which had been travelled entirely on foot.

Since, I've spent a few days under close surveilance from the mental health staff, being discharged only in the last few days, and still quite uncertain of where I go from here. My feet ache, and have only recently stopped bleeding, and I have further injuries I'm told must have been self-inflicted, to which I have no memory of causing.

All said; I believe I'm a little better now. Not well, but better. It'd really help to have someone to talk to though...but I feel to ashamed to turn to the local furry community again....

I guess...I just really need help, but from people I feel I CAN talk to, or people who care, instead of being paid to do act like they do...

Most of all, this last week has truly shown me how much being a furry means to me. It's really something I could never give up, and something that controls a lot of my lifestyle....

I don't want to seek pity, but in writing this, I know it's all i'm really doing. But..has anyone experienced something similar? I really need someone to talk to, clear my head a little, so I can think straight for a bit...

My msn (and email) is Prox.leo@gmail.com , and my cell number is 04 2232 9989 (keep in mind it's an international call for most, as I only know one Australian bakedfur...) for anyone who thinks they can help...
khyberkitsune Nov13/07 13:18:25
[khyberkitsune]I'd help if I could. My only means of real international contact is Skype or Camfrog. I just hope you shake off the speed and get back to the more friendly stuff.
karma Nov13/07 20:39:25
[karma]

Aww, that's too bad dude :\ I'm not much of a phone guy so here's my sagely advice in digital form:

budget for weed and don't do speed!

  • Nov13/07 12:34:36
  • Edited Nov13/07 12:48:50
ShevvyCoon Dec10/07 02:35:51
[ShevvyCoon]

*sigh* Addiction's a bitch, man.  It really is.  I do not know you, but I sympathize for you greatly.  I have dealt with a lot of depression, although none of it drug induced...perhaps this event may be for the better, and it has taught you...a lesson, persay? 

Btw, I notice this is almost a month old...how are things holding up for you, now?