- Aug26/08 00:59:47
- Edited Aug26/08 01:01:01
- Listening To Infected Mushroom - Forgive Me
- Feeling Euphoric
- Smoking a Cigarette
As always, we start from the beginning and move onward...
I had my first joint when I was 11. My mom, a 'Nam vet and a hippie, got ahold of a J and wanted me to try it out. Cool enough.
My next experiences weren't until highschool. Lots of after school smoking sessions.
It wasn't until after my senior year that life went wild. Just out of school with no idea what to 'be' when I grew up. Two of my best friends and myself wound up spending every day completely fucked up on something or a little of everything. We would hit every wild party in town. Weed, 'shrooms, acid, peyote, DMT, alcohol...it didn't matter what it was. If there was a drug in town, Mitch knew exactly where to get it and knew which ones were good and which ones were cut with shit. When the town was dry, there was liquor or in more extreme cases, cough syrup, no-doz and tylenol PM. Yeah, all at once. (I wouldn't recommend that unholy trinity to anyone nor will I disclose just how much of each we took. My bro and I were able to stay just this side of sane while Mitch went wild and put on a huge show by eating light bulbs. Yep, 60 watt GE bulbs.) This way of life lasted for an entire year.
Mike never completely got out. My bro stopped after a bad acid trip. I quit it all once pot started to become more dangerous to me than, well, anything else I had done. Yes, pot had actually become more mind altering and reality bending than anything else I had tried. I have never heard of anyone else having a similar problem with weed. It started out wonderful and for every time I smoked, be it days, weeks, or months in between, it took less and less to get me baked. Well, by the end of that crazy year, my tolerance was so low that one, scrawny ass J would hit me so hard, I could barely function, let alone keep hold of a single thought. I couldn't even tell if I was just thinking something or if I had said it out loud. Then I'd wonder if I had said that out loud.
The final straw came one night after one party wound down and another party was starting up across town. Mitch had already relocated to the other house and while my bro and I were trying to find out where it was, the host had us smoke a bowl while he played us some bad ass music he had made on his PC. That's the last thing I remember before waking up the next morning, on the floor of the second party house, when someone spilled Vodka all over me. My bro explained that I drove us both over there, then I spent the next several hours talking to various people, playing video games and having a blast. What good is it if I don't remember it? >.< Worse than that, I take pride in my driving skills as well as my judgement and I should NOT have been on the road that night. So, yeah, that was it for me.
The last ten, squeaky clean years: Went from introverted and slightly shy to full blown recluse, nearly agoraphobic for three or so years. Tons of social anxiety, even becoming physically ill when trying to go in and pick up an application for work. Paranoia set in just leaving my house and I'd get nervous even logging into a chat room. A fucking chat room! I finally dusted off my balls and snagged a job at a convenience store doing stocking. Went fine and had limited customer interaction for a couple months. The company then made it mandatory that apart from management, there were to only be cashiers and the cashiers had to do all stocking and other jobs between customers. I almost quit the day I got tossed on register. I stuck with it and every day it became easier. Got promoted to assistant manager. Was cured of the worst of my shyness through constant social interaction, even if only at a customer service level. Left the store after a couple of years and became a professional driver and mechanic for a local corporation. Several months later, my bro and I now run the corporation.
So, my bro runs things during the day, I've got the night shift. In the office at night, there's usually only myself and one other employee. Everyone in the company is like a big family, so I could easily overlook the other employee working with me coming to work stoned. Lives don't hang in the balance and he does what he's supposed to. He's a good guy, though always got so sad when I'd decline his offers to go to his place and spark up. I finally gave in one morning and...damn! He had some good shit. I had 7 tokes off a joint and got totally ripped up. Yeah, go ahead and laugh :P
Every now and then I go over and smoke with him, though I have to be careful to monitor my intake and not get 'memory eraser' stoned, heh. A few nights back he had some, from the depths of hell's toilet, nasty, dirt weed. It took him four Js to get a buzz. It took half of one to get me to jettison my dinner (just smelling it would turn your stomach) though got me nicely baked. Anyway, he had me meet his connection and she happened to have some ecstasy with her for sale. That was always something I'd wanted to try but never had the chance. I bought two hits and after some research online as well as talking with co-workers who had done it before, I went home and took one. Not bad. Nothing like any of the stories I had heard though. Oh well, it was worth a shot and the shower felt pretty damn good.
I went to bed after about six hours and when I got up, I popped the second hit and planned to be done with ecstasy after the disappointing experience. Both hits were red but I didn't care enough to look at the stamp. The second one was either different or maybe I needed sleep or something. The second hit kicked in like the afterburners of a jet fighter and I was soaring. I loved everyone and all was right with the world and...I wanted to actively socialize! I was on mucks and chat rooms all over, carrying on twelve conversations at once without making anyone wait for a response. Wow.
I was so stoked that my shyness had just vanished so easily. I wasn't prepared, however, when even weeks later, it was still gone! Right on! Of course, I knew of one fur who was all about the chronic and I had heard stories of wild E filled parties at cons so I knew there had to be a group or forum or something where at least a few had gathered online. That's when I found this place. Bitchin'.
So...just like that, I'm back in. Now, I've got a lot more wisdom and am much more responsible than I was during that one reckless year. I've been hitting the bong more regularly and I indulged in a three day E binge this weekend before leaving it alone for a few months. Mmmf, I'm eleven and a half hours in on my third hit (one a day) and still rollin', hence the novel I just wrote ^.^
I suppose I could have just said 'hi'...